Saturday, 25 October 2008

A gloommy day...

Sometimes, feeling empty is so disturbing...we tend to ignore or deny that we have a missing slot in our life that needing fulfillment…however, ignorance is still becoming the common practice and that eventually help to heal the emptiness…how exactly we define emptiness in our life…does that means we lack of or missing something in our life? Would you feel empty due to money…how about happiness…and what say you about love…or being loved…perhaps it‘s just a game of life that we have to endure in our daily life…or it’s just a cycle of life we would need to go through from time to time...I could say…this is that feeling that I’m going through at the moment...as some of my fellow bloggers were saying...I need a girlfriend...I need to get married...well, to be honest (wow…I’m actually telling you this..huhu) I could be missing the feeling to love and be loved…I felt the love from my dearest friends…could it be that I need more than that…am I actually being demanding to have something that I have missed for quite sometimes? There’s truth from what they were saying…I may need to start to have the feeling to love again and be loved in return..sigh..the more I try not to think about it the more I think about it and frustrated I am by not knowing..huhu..

Yesterday, I was reading this interesting entry from my fellow blogger XigorX...and I was really interested to one of his remarks as quoted below…

Why does your heart physically hurt and you feel like you can’t breathe after Love is lost? I believe it is because of this build-up and over accumulation of Love that has nowhere to go anymore…no direction or purpose…left to bounce around aimlessly in the hole left in your soul...

I would say...he had it nicely written and well explained….we human can have many ways of understanding the subjectively love in our daily life…be it your wife/husband and your child if you’re married…your girl/boy-friend if you’re in a relationship…your pets (whatever your pets are…) and not to forget the love towards our friends no matter what colour, races and religions they are….also towards your family (whatever relationships…parents, siblings and etc..) each of these may have differences accordingly per individual and I’m sure we knew that they have priorities tagged with them, which should go first and which should come after…don’t get me wrong here and I’m sure we already knew how it works…you wouldn’t put your love towards your pet over your family, would you?

Having to go through this feeling today…I’m as fragile as any other normal human being...tried to ignore and managed to get rid of it for couple of hours…I woke up quite early (around 8am) although I slept at around 5:30am after watching my favourite anime of all time (Initial D) since my arrival from work at past 1am…waking up early in the morning is common to me but to wake up with the feeling or needing someone besides you is something I would try to avoid for many times…I hadn’t dreamt of anything interesting but letting my mind to begin wondering and wandering the memory lane about that something is quite distracting…I then decided to clean my room…yet my mind was thinking of that something and I couldn’t get it off…I felt the revival when I started to sweat (I hadn’t sweat for quite sometimes when cleaning my room..I actually cleaned almost anything that I can in my room including washing the curtains) once I had my shower…there it was again...I continued watching my anime until I fell asleep (evening at around 4pm)…I had a very weird dream...I dreamt of Mr Jew, Mr Joel, Spice Girl, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Axl Rose with the original Guns’ members, my Product Delivery Manager (I've never met him or a glance of his picture), that something a.k.a someone and some others that I can’t really remember their names….it was a very weird dream…they were all in my house as if we were going to have a party…the funny thing was I even dreamt of Arnorld flirting with the Spice Girls in the swimming pool with a white underwear…well I don’t have to describe the ladies, do I? The story began when each of these casts came into my house (in the dream I’m actually living with that someone..) introducing themselves...the next thing I remember, I was chatting and singing with the GnR band whilst looking at Slash’s guitar…Arnold with the ladies in the swimming pool.. I had a romantic candle light dinner with that someone accompanied by numbers of slow rock songs from GnR...Wahaha…I can’t recall where were Mr Jew, Mr Joel and the Manager after their arrival…teda beer tapi di mana kamu ah...haha..

Well, that was just a dream yet very interesting one to remember…especially the existence of my Product Delivery Manager…haha..I've just came back from a quick hang out (watched the MU match) with my buddy from KL...he told me that he’s planning to get engaged later next year…we chatted about his 1 week training trip to Paris earlier this month and enjoying the match which ended with a draw..huhu...I’m quite happy (or relief) to get some sort of rescue info from that something...I was actually hoping for that kind of info since earlier this morning but I was the one who advised not to do so….for some reason that’s the right thing to do…I'm going to continue with my anime..really hard to stop once started..I'm planning not to consume beer this weekend..hehe

May you guys had a great long weekend (Happy Diwali)…holiday and rest…Cheers!

13 comments:

†bandaged-knee† †Broken-Medusa† said...

Hmm.. :) hehe.. wel ^.^

^.^

^.^

Perhaps try to wait a lil longer..? haha! ^_^ ko tlmpau mminum baitu tulah mulah mungkin! LOL jk jk jk.. xD

:P hmm.. urg muda punya serita ni kan..? haha! ^_^ idk hun, perhaps u're trying to aim for something that is O_O"" kinda high? (means u're choosy? hehe?) not ready till u felt... u neeed to rush! LOL.. idk hun serious.. i hav no solution here even tho u're not asking for solution.. ur thingy kinda similar wif a friend that i know and perhaps to me too (but ofcourse mine is .. O_O" diff? lol watever~)

hmm.. O_O" juz dont rush hun! u'll have ur perfect-someone soon.. go out and meet some friends.. ;) jan tlmpau minum.. haha!

^_^ i dont hav the ability to tell u that i'm reading this man! lol.. not juz reading.. but.. "READING" lol if u know at i mean.. haha!.. ^_^"" bah2.. happy depavali oo wel..;) jan ko p tap minum d hari berbahagia durg aaa.. kasi chance baa! Hahaha!

xD

rock on! prep! haha! ^_^

Wel^Beiolman said...

Beck...hahaha..telampau minum ka kurang minum ni beck..kalu sia minum mcm teda ni perasaan tau..hehe..kalu tidak minum terus tu otak jadi waras mcm manusia besa..hehe...I need to be beioled in order to avoid these crappy feeling ba ni kali..hehe..I'm not looking or choosing any ba ni beck..haha...solution dia..pastikan diri sentiasa beiol la ni..haha..I just hate that I actually started to feel this kinda temptation again..haha..haha..sia inda p tap ba beck..next week baru sia kembali bertemu dengan beer secara berlebihan..haha..i think im not ready tp temptation mula2 suda mau keluar..haha..

sweetie~ said...

the best feeling ever is being in love.....huhuhu.....but the problem is, it's not easy to fall in love...itu spark ba once in a blue moon saja datang....mmmmm...

Wel^Beiolman said...

Sweetie..haha..ya to like someone is easy enough but to really committed in love with someone is very rare...you can love but perhaps whole heartedly in love..huhu...being loved is almost d same I guess...once in a blue moon la kan sweetie..suda la sia inda pena nampak blue moon..hehe..

XiGorX said...

Our feelings and all of the other emotions we have could sometimes be too complicated to understand..we constantly feel that, there's a void in our heart that needs to be occupied immediately..but then again..Denial is always there...trying to block everything which does really exist...causing us to feel this endless longing for no reason...I seriously don't know how to best solve this problem..Playing ignorant can sometimes be so sickening....I just wanna tell u this..(nda tau ada kaitan ka teda...haha) Don't be afraid of love..if you have to make the first move then..do it..You'll never know that it is wrong unless you have gone through it...bla bla bla..banyak cakap plak sa ni..hahaha

Wel^Beiolman said...

Mesh..haha..si mesh..ok ba mesh..sia rasa sia inda mau la mesh..i'm happy for I am now..single and free to fly..haha..maybe too late or I was d one who yg perasaan sja...yg sturang rasa mcm besa..haha..no worries..I think I get what does it means..again..lack of beer la ni punya pasal...mimang degil ba manusia ni kan..haha..I dont afraid of love neither being loved...huhu..mesh..jom p mogs kalu sia balik sabah..si jerry belanja..haha..ngam ni..kamu 2 berjiwa besar betul sal thoughts....I want to break and berak free.hahahaha..

Vera said...

if i'm christina yang from grey's anatomy i would say, go and get laid. Now if i'm izzie, i would tell u that she's out there just waiting to be discovered by you...
but as vera, don't be sad... some people don't even have good friends and a job that u love so wel, one day, you'll feel it.. maybe not now.. One day k..

Wel^Beiolman said...

Vera..hi vera...im not sad ba vera....u know la kan sometimes we human pandai pikir mcm2..tp lepas me pikir2 and rescan my self..so I come with my previous comment..I am happy for what I am now...single and free..haha..yeah...I'd prefer to let it happens without thinking..u know what I mean...let the universe be the witness and jury...one day i will return to that stage...not now but someday...

Mell_f said...

Now i want that dream of urs. hahahaha..fani. Ntah apa la ko buat sebelum tidur smp dapat mimpi begitu indah,byk lagi celebriti tu ;)

Wel,just be what u're now la,tidak payah lah trying so hard to get that,ok? :)

cLaiRe Bennet said...

Agree with vera...;)

Wel^Beiolman said...

Mell..fani kan..ni semua sebab kurang beer..minda terlalu waras..haha..yah true tu mell..I'm not gonna push or do anything...I'm loving my life..haha..lagi love kalu byk duit dalam bank..haha..

claire..apa yg ko setuju claire..hehe..sia pun setuju ba tu..hehe...

cLaiRe Bennet said...

anything u say man..hehe

Wel^Beiolman said...

Claire..haha...ya la claire..cheers!