Tuesday, 20 January 2009

MESS-age FOR WOMEN

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will..again..do not force them especially if your husband is a 'rare' breed in the history of humanity..haha...better take precaution...

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After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Sewel (not a real name)
Over the past six months in 2008, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from coming to the store. Our complaints against Mr. Sewel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15, 2008:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they
weren't looking.

2. July 2, 2008:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7, 2008:
Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19 2008:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4, 2008:
Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14, 2008:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15, 2008:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23, 2008:
When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4, 2008:
Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10, 2008:
While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3, 2008:
Darted around the store, suspiciously, while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible' theme ..

12. October 6, 2008:
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18, 2008:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME!

14. October 21, 2008:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least...

15. October 23, 2008:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
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P/S: I received this forwarded email days ago from a friend...I just couldn't resist to post it for viewers to enjoy the humor brought by non-other a 'rare' breed of men....I don't know who wrote it originally but it is extremely funny and it would be a loss not to share this awesome

16 comments:

sHeiLa said...

hahahhaaa..ok2..get it..

i wonder how the wife will react?hahahahaa.a...

p/s : sa masi ketawa..HAHAHAHAHAHA

Wel^Beiolman said...

Sheila..haha..kalu betul ada laki mcm ni...haha..si terimagine si adam sandler sja la mampu buat mcm ni semua..haha...

tetap no.1 jg la fav..haha..

cLaiRe Bennet said...

hehe...tia tau mood sy yg nda ngam ka atau knp tp sy menengok dan menbaca dgn straight face nya ni...hati sy sja mengkali ketawa la...hehe

Kadus_Mama said...

HAHHAHAHAHA!!!!! Melampau lah bah..Though my poor hubby was tortured by me during shopping spree, but he never does anything like mr.sewel ya!!! HAHAHA!! Buduh juga tu mr.sewel..

sweetie~ said...

macam lama sda sy dapat ni email....ehehe. tp lelaki memang anti-shopping....hehe

sweetie~ said...

claire kau perlu beer tu tau....mauhahaha

Wel^Beiolman said...

Claire...sebab ko period ba tu claire..suda sia bilang jan minum air sejuk..mau jg p minum kicai ping..haha...message kepada wanita ba ni claire..bkn lawak ko mau ketawa..haha..cheer up!

KadusMama....kesian kan jadi lelaki ni..haha..jadi kadam tukang angkat barang..tp kalu lelaki yg shopping.risau si bini sebab..teda bahagian tuk dia..barang lelaki selalu mahal..haha...mimang Mr.Sewel tu ngok sikit ba tu....haha..jan ko ajar hubby ko mcm ni ah mama..hehe..

Sweetie..hehe..sia suka shopping kalu ada duit..haha..teda duit tepaksa la inda suka shopping sweetie..hehe...tp shopping bila ada keperluan sja ba..inda la tiap tiap tiap tiap minggu shopping mcm ppn..haha...

ya..si claire kurang beer suda...p minum beer claire..heeee

cLaiRe Bennet said...

he he he he

†bandaged-knee† †Broken-Medusa† said...

lol.. :) nice jokes.. hahah!

XiGorX said...

aaah..if its true, imagine la sa pi betapuk di celah2 baju, then tiba2 teriak, PICK ME..atau pun go to the fitting room, HEY THERE"S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE....I don't like to go shopping with women, because they take extremely longer time than most of us do..tapi not to the extend sampai mau buat cam tu la..paling2 pun I'll leave her alone for a while, turus pi sigup2 dulu..wakakaka...tu pun kana marah...huhu

Gagaukon said...

Very funny boss... hahahah sy pun mo buat camtu la kalau bini sy shopping..

Wel^Beiolman said...

Claire....senyuman kecilan ka claire..he he he...

beck..hi beck..how u doing?..again..I can only imagine adam sandler doing all them..haha...

XigorX....someone could have done this I guess....ok ba tu mesh kalu ko betapuk sana baju2 then ur mum or sis or gf ka selak punya selak..lepas tu..pick me ko bilang..terus kana cakap..punya bida ni baju..haha...yg toilet paper macam ngam tuk kalu ngam2 ko pakai boxer la...terus bejalan kenen keluar dekat pintu pakai boxer sja komplen teda toilet paper..haha...oh..kesian durang shopping sturang....nanti sedar2 ilang suda..kana kasi tinggal suru balik sendiri..haha..

Gagaukon..hehe...ko cuba2 dulu yang no.13 ah..hehe..semuga bejaya..haha..

OLie said...

the tomato trail to the ladies and screaming no toilet paper in the changing room is damn hilarious! Lols! aduih... ROFLMAO!!

Wel^Beiolman said...

Olie..hehe..would u get mad if that happens to you..haahaa..its pretty hard though to remake the tomato..haha...

Vera said...

well my bf just buat muka boring then i pandai rasa bersalah trus nak jadi shopping. unless there's a book store then i will just leave him there.. :)))

Wel^Beiolman said...

Vera...book store???wahaha..ko kasi beli dia buku sja la..suru tunggu d coffee bean..haha....well, if only he's into shopping as u..inda tau berapa byk la habis tiap kali shopping kan..hehe..