I'm 'NOT' smarter than you IF

Am I NOT smarter than you if
A. You buy this for your child (regardless of gender)
B. You buy this for your girlfriend
C. You buy this for your boyfriend
D. You buy this as a birthday present
E. You buy this as an exchange gift-present for Christmas
F. You buy this for your pets
G. You buy this for your husband
H. You buy this for yourself
I. You buy this for a kitchen napkin