Bittersweet

I have not been writing as much as I used to be..perhaps this is the real me..just a plain quiet type of person…I have been having this thought of applying for another job after over 4 years with the current company…I always tell people that I could only be thinking of migrating to another company when there’s neither new adventure nor skills to learn…yes that is true and I would not dare to say it isn’t good to others who keeps on thinking of applying job interview though…it’s up to them but when it comes to me at certain time for a wrong reason i.e. management isn’t good...colleagues not co-operating or not getting enough support from your superiors..that sounds like an excuse for not being able to cope with life and challenges…nevertheless, the person who talks about this sort of attempt is not less than a person who doesn’t quite understand about having basic survival skills of taking better care of her/himself and surrounding…too much of dream and ambition but nothing for self-enhancement?

Honestly, I’ve had this thought since last couple of months ago and some of friends have heard about it yet I have not made any attempts of doing so..I have no specific reasons for not making the first move though as I believe it was just a temporary thought and I was partially correct on this…I’d love to learn few more new skills if I may in near time though..maybe the time hasn’t come just yet….These couple of days in 2010 had been quite a mess for me…things happened unconditionally…I could only look for resolution to stay afloat to go through the journey…hell to love! It’s not about love/relationship at all…some people have been advising me of staying single for too long isn’t good for me...they may be correct and I couldn’t deny what was advised but I do have my own reasons for not being into relationship anymore…it’s just not fun anymore although it could bring joyful life once you’ve found the one…haha…in fact, I've never thought of myself a lonely person as I have number of really good friends (I could share good and bad with them) we could find love in many different ways though...spending time watching korean drama series the whole day and night with housemates (plus a crate of beer)...hanging out with friends (although me and Jew have started to realized that there are only both us left enjoying drinking beer at every possibilities in Penang compared to previous years) and my utmost passion of having lots of DVDs to watch..haha…having said that, I’ve spread some of my love towards other living thing surrounding me...we’ve been complaining on the hot weathers since the beginning of 2010 and it was a pity to see a tree without enough leaves to be called a tree….every night after returning home from work, I gave it its need to stay alive during the hot weather…although I knew it is not belong to me to pour water or to take care of it but I couldn’t stop thinking either it will survive the weather or will not…every single day at night and sometimes during day…I poured about 2-3 liters of water at its foundation, after days of doing that I could see new tiny leaves started to grow from its dried branches…I was relieved and happy I could at least do this small part of humanitarian to my surrounding…today, after a heavy rain in more than a month, I could see more green leaves as a new beginning…

A friend has moved to KL last 2 weeks ago due to a new career path….about 9 of us had a decent dinner then continued with couple bottles of beer at the usual place (kedai kopi dusun) although the farewell wasn’t grand and happening but it was great to catch up with others…all the best to him in KL…I’ve known him since 1999 when we were in matriculation…we’ve had great times together ever since…in near time soon, perhaps another friend will be moving down to KL? If you ask me, I have no intention of moving anywhere else at the moment as I love Penang as much as I love Sabah (too bad telampau banyak pilak di Sabah makes it less attractive) It’s been over 10 years o….haha...

I’m having my day off today and I don’t really have anything in mind what to do…most likely I will be spending my time doing DVD (old) Marathon….I’m not addicted to DVD but it is a fun way to spend time, relaxing by watching many types of movies…by now I could roughly estimate 1000 DVDs in my possession (not less but it could be more as I have stopped doing the list since middle last year) sometimes watching movie trailers on Astro led me to re-watch my DVDs…this mostly due to inability to remember the exact story line….having a hobby like me, one will not need to waste time wandering in nearby shopping mall the whole day, window shopping (or shopping) then regret the day after (Sakit kaki, salah beli atau kehabisan duit..haha)