Bittersweet

I have not been writing as much as I used to be..perhaps this is the real me..just a plain quiet type of person…I have been having this thought of applying for another job after over 4 years with the current company…I always tell people that I could only be thinking of migrating to another company when there’s neither new adventure nor skills to learn…yes that is true and I would not dare to say it isn’t good to others who keeps on thinking of applying job interview though…it’s up to them but when it comes to me at certain time for a wrong reason i.e. management isn’t good...colleagues not co-operating or not getting enough support from your superiors..that sounds like an excuse for not being able to cope with life and challenges…nevertheless, the person who talks about this sort of attempt is not less than a person who doesn’t quite understand about having basic survival skills of taking better care of her/himself and surrounding…too much of dream and ambition but nothing for self-enhancement?

Honestly, I’ve had this thought since last couple of months ago and some of friends have heard about it yet I have not made any attempts of doing so..I have no specific reasons for not making the first move though as I believe it was just a temporary thought and I was partially correct on this…I’d love to learn few more new skills if I may in near time though..maybe the time hasn’t come just yet….These couple of days in 2010 had been quite a mess for me…things happened unconditionally…I could only look for resolution to stay afloat to go through the journey…hell to love! It’s not about love/relationship at all…some people have been advising me of staying single for too long isn’t good for me...they may be correct and I couldn’t deny what was advised but I do have my own reasons for not being into relationship anymore…it’s just not fun anymore although it could bring joyful life once you’ve found the one…haha…in fact, I've never thought of myself a lonely person as I have number of really good friends (I could share good and bad with them) we could find love in many different ways though...spending time watching korean drama series the whole day and night with housemates (plus a crate of beer)...hanging out with friends (although me and Jew have started to realized that there are only both us left enjoying drinking beer at every possibilities in Penang compared to previous years) and my utmost passion of having lots of DVDs to watch..haha…having said that, I’ve spread some of my love towards other living thing surrounding me...we’ve been complaining on the hot weathers since the beginning of 2010 and it was a pity to see a tree without enough leaves to be called a tree….every night after returning home from work, I gave it its need to stay alive during the hot weather…although I knew it is not belong to me to pour water or to take care of it but I couldn’t stop thinking either it will survive the weather or will not…every single day at night and sometimes during day…I poured about 2-3 liters of water at its foundation, after days of doing that I could see new tiny leaves started to grow from its dried branches…I was relieved and happy I could at least do this small part of humanitarian to my surrounding…today, after a heavy rain in more than a month, I could see more green leaves as a new beginning…

A friend has moved to KL last 2 weeks ago due to a new career path….about 9 of us had a decent dinner then continued with couple bottles of beer at the usual place (kedai kopi dusun) although the farewell wasn’t grand and happening but it was great to catch up with others…all the best to him in KL…I’ve known him since 1999 when we were in matriculation…we’ve had great times together ever since…in near time soon, perhaps another friend will be moving down to KL? If you ask me, I have no intention of moving anywhere else at the moment as I love Penang as much as I love Sabah (too bad telampau banyak pilak di Sabah makes it less attractive) It’s been over 10 years o….haha...

I’m having my day off today and I don’t really have anything in mind what to do…most likely I will be spending my time doing DVD (old) Marathon….I’m not addicted to DVD but it is a fun way to spend time, relaxing by watching many types of movies…by now I could roughly estimate 1000 DVDs in my possession (not less but it could be more as I have stopped doing the list since middle last year) sometimes watching movie trailers on Astro led me to re-watch my DVDs…this mostly due to inability to remember the exact story line….having a hobby like me, one will not need to waste time wandering in nearby shopping mall the whole day, window shopping (or shopping) then regret the day after (Sakit kaki, salah beli atau kehabisan duit..haha)

Rambling

Honestly I loved her so much as much as I love my life.....

Why can't she understands and why can't she thinks about it..

It's all about commitment and that's it...

what else can I say....

You're in a relationship and you should work things out rather than taking all the opportunity of going out with others then once someone asks, don't you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?....you answered 'just kawan ba..'

it's very intriguing and very stupid....

Listen girl/boy.....appreciate what you have before it is too late...

Personal Perception

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? " Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

...pura-pura kenen si donkey jalan-jalan di sana..wahaha..

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..

Life or Live on...

Weeks after week...life is getting busier than before...I know why and I don't want to complaint nor whining about that because I know it's a valuable experience in future time..I'm only a servant but at the same time I'm also the senior among others...I have to take care almost everything in the office..to be exact..I'm the acting Manager in the absence of my Manager..well he'll be back in October along with the Tech Director to conduct another interview session...we're expanding a'ight...

At first, I didn't even realize that when he took off (to UK) in July but weeks after week...especially in the past 3 weeks..I'm sort of losing balance..I really need a rest...I'm not feeling any stress nor tension, it just that my mind is so so tired...not my body or soul though..I can imagine that my mind (brain) is running almost 20/7 these days..I have to think, observe, analysis and execute the final result...these couple of weeks..although it was weekends..I still have to catch up with office stuff...I have to catch up with my team and during weekdays..I have to catch up on everything especially colleagues that needing help in consultation or office matters...I'm doing 4 responsibilities at a time....customer consultation, development, acting manager and a senior to my colleagues...they're fun sometimes but there were times when you think this is too much....thankfully I'm still able and managed to cope with these responsibilities...thanks to my patience and rationality..I handle or think things in a logical way possible..so it helps me a lot in making decision...

I really need a break...I still have a balance of 9 days off this year..I haven't had any plan but I may use them soon enough..nearest holiday I have would be on 25 & 26 Sept...which is in 2 weeks time...I have never applied sick leave nor emergency leave this year..actually I only had them like...1 for sick leave and 1 for emergency leave...since working for this company over 2 years ago...at the end of October 2008, it's already 3 years....I'm expecting another increment later that month as we would have an appraisal early this October...looking forward to that....perhaps another turning point in my career...*cross finger*

I'm giving this post a title of "Life or Live on.." because sometimes I think it is our natural life perspective that we need to work to earn money or work hard to achieve something but at some other time..it could be just a 'thing' that we have to live on with what so ever we have in order to continue our life..more likely as surviving pula.....I really need a break and think of my life in another different perspective...I'm going in the right path but perhaps I may need to revalute my life...

20 favourable survey questions

I received this so called "Top 20" tag last week from Joan?..I wasn't really in the mood of blogging last week..why?Well..my schedule was fully occupied with loads of work at office..maintaining and supervising other colleagues..server problem and etc...and most of all...my half brother was in Penang the whole week....using my machine..doing his homeworks as well as being the typical community-networking fan (surfing and chatting in Friendster and NetLog almost the whole day..)..I know it's not good to say something about your family or relative but I was not really happy seeing my stuff being placed where it shouldn't be..the keyboard which was rotated almost 90 degrees anti-clock-wise.....the bed sheet that needing re-organizing once he woke up...although the mess he made was not that terrible but he should have realised that once he entered my room on the first day he was here....all stuffs were in place and organized......he's already 19 (I think la..) and he kinda knew that already..I was his baby-sitter when he was as small as 4 years to 8 years back in Sabah..to tell you all, I used to be a baby-sitter to my young cousins years ago...I bath them..prepare food for them...teach and play with them...making sure they have enough sleep during the day etc...those were the days when I was still a cute-teen-boy...muka inda garang..so budak pun suka la...I used to be called as a baby face..I'm now a man..ha.ha...macam ada gaya mau menyimpang pula ni tau..

Alright, let's get back to the tag thingy...sorry for the delay in responding and thanks for the tag Joan..

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
I wonder if marriage is the most ultimate achievement in life or in a relationship?ha..ha..let it works on its own naturally...I don't have to worry about this when there are things that more important than this...

2. What is your most favourite thing to do?
Buy-watch DVD...drink beer with friends and traveling/vacation which is quite limited (bukan banyak duit ba..he.he..)

3. What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat?
Huh?apa punya soalan ini?correction ah..its not the food that causing fatness la...its the individual habits that causing this...it doesn't count if you eat what so ever and still maintaining your excercise and not being lazy to do house chores etc...again stop blaming the FOOD...it causes other health issue but not entirely fatness alone...Food is our source of aspiration as well for the beauty of a mind.....anda setuju?Katakan yes kepada sigup untuk diet yang bermutu, bergaya dan keemasan..ha.ha..Dunhill since 1998

4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Money in the bank that will never finish. Unlimited funds for a lifetime. Money = Power..hahaha (I have to agree with you la Joan...but not for the power ah...I love to have lots of money and wish I could use it to help others...especially my own people in Sabah..this is supposed to be done by all the local rich people in Sabah but they're just too selfish to think about their own life style...)

5. Do you believe you can survive without money?
It's not possible but it's not going to be easy in theory....I'd recommend to watch to "Into The Wild" movie then make you own assumption or judgment..I may and may not survive...its His will...

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
I really don't know..even if I lost my ID card..I can still create a new ID Card kan..but I think I would not want to lose my mind..losing the memories in my whole life would not be fun or easy for everyone as well as to the people around you..macam baby..otak blank saja.

7. What do you feel like doing right now?
Lots of money first! then traveling and holidaying..kehaaaa..

8. If there's someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Being a true gentleman sometimes needs braveness and courage and being a thoughtful/brilliant gentleman sometimes needs brilliant-decision-making as well as brilliant-observation-skills to know when is the right time and moment to perform his art of acts without causing disturbance or inconvenience causes either past, present and future life/relationship....I'd confess myself to her if it's the right time and moment for her to know the truth....she to decide...

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
This is going to be hard la Joan..I didn't get the chance to really get to know you back then..ha..ha..as per observation..she's charming..lovely smile..she's short but cute...she's intelligent as per her entries in her blog so far...

10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
I don't have any idea at all on how to response to this question la...IGNORED/REMOVED

11. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
She wants to see me naked all the time..ha..ha..(she is so baaaad huh) OK..betul punya la..lying then cheating

12. What is your ambition?
I think this is the most famous survey question during the secondary school...each year, entering a new class then doing the ice-breaking..often, the teacher would ask..stand and tell us your name and ambition..hu.hu..I still remember..I told them I wanted to be a doctor..a lawyer la..an engineer la..a pilot la...a terrorist la..but at the end of the day..none of that been accomplished..ha.ha..now what? I just want to live happy and enjoy my life..would it make a different if you're a lawyer with loads of money but still can't be happy with your life....hu.hu..but of course we always want the best for the living...

13. Is anyone really perfect?
Define "perfect" and find me anyone that you find perfect exists in that person...

14. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick ?
Joan: Does rich means got money...If yes, then I will be happy. :) (Again..I'd go for the same lame response macam you also ah Joan..ha.ha...)

15. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
Character as in attitude or behaviour....tell me what you do and don't like about me...I'll see what I can do for the better me BUT am not going to be someone that I'm not....it's not that easy to please everyone but its easy to annoy everyone..hu.hu..

16. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
God..I don't have to ask Him to listen to me or feel sad for me when I'm down...

17. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Theoretically..this question is wrong.....come on la..5 years is acceptable but not 10 years..why not 20 years pula...in working life, this would bring up your personal goal but in real life...this could means..a happy marriage..with beautiful, loving, caring and loyal wife/husband..cute and adorable child..financial stability..living in a nice and comfy house...driving a nice and decent car of your dream...traveling and vacationing with family...stop dreaming and get back to your real life at present..why need to worry the future 10 years from now if you're not worry about the present?

18. If someone had found a path to immortality to be bestowed upon you in exchange for one of your abilities, would you take it, and what would you sacrifice for it?
Highlander la ni..walawei..anyone can offer me the ability to fly? I'd love to have that and willing to offer you anything that I could...

19. What is the best thing that had happened in your life?
My life is already the best thing and I'm living the best thing....should I ask for more best thing?

20. If you could compete in the Olympics, what event would you participate in? Why?
Swimming looks fun to me...shooting looks fun..I could possibly select these two...why? they're fun and enjoyable...

21. What does happiness means to you and are you satisfied with what you've got?Would you select satisfaction over happiness?
Happiness is a state of mind being excited, relax, ease and free BUT happiness only real when shared...am I satisfied with my present life/living? I haven't achieved that much in my life so I'll have to say No, I'm not yet satisfy..Satisfaction over Happiness huh...If I want to get satisfaction I may have to sacrifice some of my happiness or sometimes not at all...the theory is almost similar when you're studying for exam...you'll have to ignore the temptation or invitation from your friends to go out for a drink etc....you missed the happiness but you'll be satisfied with your hard work when the result comes out...then there comes the happiness when it's time to celebrate your achievement...I'd go for satisfaction...but I wouldn't say that I'm totally on for satisfaction as my first choice..depending on every situation I'm in....

I've done mine and added one personal question at 21st..As per rule, I have to tag another 8 bloggers to revive the tag with a new question at each end...so, these bloggers below..if only you're convenience to blog (anytime)..that would be much appreciated..cheers!

1. Vera
2. Claire
3. Fab
4. Kuai
5. Andrik
6. Reno
7. XigorX
8. San