A gloommy day...

Sometimes, feeling empty is so disturbing...we tend to ignore or deny that we have a missing slot in our life that needing fulfillment…however, ignorance is still becoming the common practice and that eventually help to heal the emptiness…how exactly we define emptiness in our life…does that means we lack of or missing something in our life? Would you feel empty due to money…how about happiness…and what say you about love…or being loved…perhaps it‘s just a game of life that we have to endure in our daily life…or it’s just a cycle of life we would need to go through from time to time...I could say…this is that feeling that I’m going through at the moment...as some of my fellow bloggers were saying...I need a girlfriend...I need to get married...well, to be honest (wow…I’m actually telling you this..huhu) I could be missing the feeling to love and be loved…I felt the love from my dearest friends…could it be that I need more than that…am I actually being demanding to have something that I have missed for quite sometimes? There’s truth from what they were saying…I may need to start to have the feeling to love again and be loved in return..sigh..the more I try not to think about it the more I think about it and frustrated I am by not knowing..huhu..

Yesterday, I was reading this interesting entry from my fellow blogger XigorX...and I was really interested to one of his remarks as quoted below…

“Why does your heart physically hurt and you feel like you can’t breathe after Love is lost? I believe it is because of this build-up and over accumulation of Love that has nowhere to go anymore…no direction or purpose…left to bounce around aimlessly in the hole left in your soul...”

I would say...he had it nicely written and well explained….we human can have many ways of understanding the subjectively love in our daily life…be it your wife/husband and your child if you’re married…your girl/boy-friend if you’re in a relationship…your pets (whatever your pets are…) and not to forget the love towards our friends no matter what colour, races and religions they are….also towards your family (whatever relationships…parents, siblings and etc..) each of these may have differences accordingly per individual and I’m sure we knew that they have priorities tagged with them, which should go first and which should come after…don’t get me wrong here and I’m sure we already knew how it works…you wouldn’t put your love towards your pet over your family, would you?

Having to go through this feeling today…I’m as fragile as any other normal human being...tried to ignore and managed to get rid of it for couple of hours…I woke up quite early (around 8am) although I slept at around 5:30am after watching my favourite anime of all time (Initial D) since my arrival from work at past 1am…waking up early in the morning is common to me but to wake up with the feeling or needing someone besides you is something I would try to avoid for many times…I hadn’t dreamt of anything interesting but letting my mind to begin wondering and wandering the memory lane about that something is quite distracting…I then decided to clean my room…yet my mind was thinking of that something and I couldn’t get it off…I felt the revival when I started to sweat (I hadn’t sweat for quite sometimes when cleaning my room..I actually cleaned almost anything that I can in my room including washing the curtains) once I had my shower…there it was again...I continued watching my anime until I fell asleep (evening at around 4pm)…I had a very weird dream...I dreamt of Mr Jew, Mr Joel, Spice Girl, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Axl Rose with the original Guns’ members, my Product Delivery Manager (I've never met him or a glance of his picture), that something a.k.a someone and some others that I can’t really remember their names….it was a very weird dream…they were all in my house as if we were going to have a party…the funny thing was I even dreamt of Arnorld flirting with the Spice Girls in the swimming pool with a white underwear…well I don’t have to describe the ladies, do I? The story began when each of these casts came into my house (in the dream I’m actually living with that someone..) introducing themselves...the next thing I remember, I was chatting and singing with the GnR band whilst looking at Slash’s guitar…Arnold with the ladies in the swimming pool.. I had a romantic candle light dinner with that someone accompanied by numbers of slow rock songs from GnR...Wahaha…I can’t recall where were Mr Jew, Mr Joel and the Manager after their arrival…teda beer tapi di mana kamu ah...haha..

Well, that was just a dream yet very interesting one to remember…especially the existence of my Product Delivery Manager…haha..I've just came back from a quick hang out (watched the MU match) with my buddy from KL...he told me that he’s planning to get engaged later next year…we chatted about his 1 week training trip to Paris earlier this month and enjoying the match which ended with a draw..huhu...I’m quite happy (or relief) to get some sort of rescue info from that something...I was actually hoping for that kind of info since earlier this morning but I was the one who advised not to do so….for some reason that’s the right thing to do…I'm going to continue with my anime..really hard to stop once started..I'm planning not to consume beer this weekend..hehe

May you guys had a great long weekend (Happy Diwali)…holiday and rest…Cheers!