MESS-age FOR WOMEN

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will..again..do not force them especially if your husband is a 'rare' breed in the history of humanity..haha...better take precaution...

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After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Sewel (not a real name)
Over the past six months in 2008, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from coming to the store. Our complaints against Mr. Sewel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15, 2008:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they
weren't looking.

2. July 2, 2008:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7, 2008:
Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19 2008:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4, 2008:
Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14, 2008:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15, 2008:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23, 2008:
When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4, 2008:
Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10, 2008:
While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3, 2008:
Darted around the store, suspiciously, while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible' theme ..

12. October 6, 2008:
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18, 2008:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME!

14. October 21, 2008:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least...

15. October 23, 2008:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
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P/S: I received this forwarded email days ago from a friend...I just couldn't resist to post it for viewers to enjoy the humor brought by non-other a 'rare' breed of men....I don't know who wrote it originally but it is extremely funny and it would be a loss not to share this awesome humor